We are in the midst of arranging the funeral and one of the things that we would really like to do is give everyone a pin badge to help raise awareness – like the ones that available for breast cancer but specific to CUP. Whilst I can’t bring mum back I know that she would like to think her death wasn’t in vain and so if I can in any way help to raise awareness of this cruel disease then I will. Therefore I was wondering what people thought about having a pin badge for CUP perhaps linked in with a ribbon and a cup together. My mum did love a cup of tea!

I would be really keen to hear your views and to see if others are thinking along the same lines.

In the early hours of the 20th April (Saturday) 2013 she called her own ambulance and was admitted to a hospital in Southport, Lancashire. The last conversation I had with her was when she called me from her hospital bed on the Sunday evening and said that I had to help her get out of there and when I said that she was there to get better she said that she thought I would understand and then put the phone down on me. I put it down to the morphine that she was on. When I called the hospital the next day (I forgot to mention that I live in London and my parents are in Liverpool) the nurses asked how quickly I could get there, everything from that afternoon onwards is a bit of a blur but my husband sped me down the motorway to get to the hospital. It was then that I found that she had been diagnosed with cancer but they didn’t know the source. This came from the blood count test that they did on her being admitted – this was the first time that she had the complete blood count done. Her cancer markers were over 21,000.

It later transpired that the cancer was in her blood, bone marrow and she had lesions in her spine. She had been complaining about neck and back pain but the GP had put it down to a bit of sciatica and lifting her grandchildren up all of the time. They had more tests to do to try to identify were the cancer may be but concluded with a diagnosis of CUP.

We gave the doctors my mum’s family background – my mum’s mum (my grandma) had breast cancer when she was in her mid 60s but had it treated and survived. My mum’s grandparents also had cancer although we did not know and couldn’t find out which cancer and her cousin had died within the last couple of years of cancer. Mum used to be a smoker (although not heavy) and was brought up in smokey pubs. Despite the various scans my mum’s cancer was not detected and we were told that they could not cure her or even provide treatment since she wasn’t strong enough for the chemo – her various illnesses over the previous months had basically run down her reserves.

We spent 10 hours a day by my mum’s bed side over her last two weeks in hospital. She was on oxygen, sedated and had so many painkillers she couldn’t feel a thing, which is one blessing. Her condition deteriorated rapidly, her mouth was completely ulcerated (with cold sores around her lips), she developed septicaemia and had a stroke which paralysed her left hand side and most likely damaged her sight. Her family are devastated that such a beautiful, vivacious, caring, wonderful wife, mum and grandmother could be subject to such a cruel illness.

On the day before she passed (which was the 3rd May 2013 at 6:10am) we were passed across to palliative care who asked us when we wanted to switch off life support – we were not expecting that question. However, before we could make a decision mum passed away the following morning at age 65 years and within less than two weeks of being diagnosed of cancer. I had thought that we had plenty of time and had gone back to London for a couple of days to clear my head and think things through so wasn’t there for my dad and sister when they got the call from the hospital.

I only hope that her death wasn’t in vain and that I can help in some way to raise awareness of CUP whether that is through fund raising, talking to people or sharing thoughts and partaking in discussions through this website.

http://healthandcare.dh.gov.uk/system

http://www.canceroptions.co.uk/

I’m not in a position to endorse the consultancy’s work or otherwise, but we try and make available resources that may be of help and let people make up their own minds. If anyone has experience of Cancer Options or have views on complementary approaches please share your views.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2269931/Cancer-longer-death-sentence-DNA-based-treatment-transform-lives-10-years.html

This is the page on our website where we show the tests that we know about http://www.cupfoundjo.org/diagnosis_and_treatment/tests.html