Hello Everyone,
First, I hope this post finds you and your family well. This seems like a great community from what I’ve read so far and I look forward to being a part of it, as my family and I dive head-first into this new world of CUP.
For the past several weeks, my dad (55 y/o male) has undergone literally every possible test to pinpoint the primary site of his cancer. We did not find it. The only place the cancer exists is in the bone, all throughout the skeleton. He had and was treated for bladder cancer in Oct. 2011, but we’ve been assured by several doctors there is no relation. The only other possible clue, was an elevated level in the pancreas from a tumor marker. But scans show no masses in ANY organs. So, basically what we’re dealing with is a Stage IV carcinoma of unknown primary, with metastasis to the bone.
We had a very tough doctor’s appointment this morning. Our doctor, who we are very pleased with, basically told us: a) Without chemo, my dad has “weeks” at most to live. b) The cancer is “incurable,” and chemo will be used to “prolong” his life for as long as possible. He threw out the figure of “6-8 months,” but only as a statistic. I don’t know what to think. This is very hard.
My dad is taking this very well, he’s so good with dealing with emergencies and crises. The rest of us feel like we’ve been hit by a truck. This all started with him complaining of back pain a few weeks ago, and suddenly it’s this catastrophic illness.
Has anyone else here had a similar case in their family (or themselves personally)? I can’t shake thinking about the prognosis…the word incurable…it’s so scary. I just want to keep thinking positively and hope that we can beat the odds.
Thank you to anyone with any words of support or encouragement.
Loading ...
Hi there
Firstly I wish you all love and best wishes for your dads journey ahead and totally agree this is a wonderful community for support and information.
My mother was diagnosed with CUP in July 2011 metastasis to the lung,liver & brain. She also has the prognosis using the word “incurable” and like your family at first this is a very scary place to be. Ma is living life to the fullest and continues chemo to keep the tumours on hold and she is doing well. I have no medical training however I do offer my positive thoughts and well wishes and with the support he has with you and your family he certainly has all love in his corner to beat the odds. Take care of each other
Best wishes
Trina B
Hi Trina,
I am glad to hear that your mother is thriving in such a difficult situation! Thank you for your encouraging words.
So sorry to hear you are all having to deal with the toughest of news. Remember that a prognosis is only an educated guess and no statistic can tell you what will happen to an individual.
I don’t know where you live, but if there is a cancer support centre near you and you haven’t been in touch yet I would really recommend it. As well as supporting patients they will usually support families too. To talk to a good counsellor who has an understanding of the impact of such a diagnosis can really help you to find your balance and your own ways of coping, which will also help you to support your Dad.
Having been both a cancer patient and the daughter of one, I think that it is just as difficult to be the family. Try to make sure you get some support for yourself.
Will be thinking of you and your family,
Kate
Hehell
Hello,
I am sorry to hear you are all going through this. My mum was diagnosed in feb 12 and being the only child also felt like I had been hit by a truck. We were given the same prognosis. Since then mum responded very well to chemo. The team then decided as the cancer had oestrogen markers and they had opted to treat as ovarian, it was worth doing a debulking surgery (hysterectomy etc). They found the cancer in the Fallopian tubes. The prognosis seems better and chemo is now moping up the rogue cells in the lymph. As they has travelled to the nodes in the neck they suggested it could pop up again but from scan it appears to have gone. It feels like winning the lottery from where we were but not able to spend a penny for fear it returns. But as harsh as chemo is…it has changed the prognosis.
On a personal note, I did go to pieces initially but a strength will come for you and your family and we have learnt to cope, enjoy living each day with that elephant in the room. I did race for life and felt part of a very big community there too. Keep positive…I think it helps. Also mum followed a change in diet but not sure how much it did but certainly gave her a sense of control. Good luck x